March 23
John Wayne Bobbitt's Birthday
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\When
Lorena Bobbitt cut off her husband's penis on June 23, 1993, men throughout
the world cringed as the incident made headlines and probably twenty-
percent of all women women cheered. According to Lorena, John
came home drunk as usually and wanted sex. Lorena said no, and then,
according to her, John raped he. After he fell asleep, Lorena went to
the kitchen, took a carving knife and cut off almost half of his penis with
moyle-like precision. John rushed to the hospital. Lorena left their
apartment with the severed penis, drove a short while, then rolled down the
car window and threw the penis into a field and called 911. The police fund
the penis, packed it in ice, and brought to the hospital where John was
being treated, and it was re-attached in a nine-and-a-half-hour
operation. Lorena was subsequently arrested, tried, and found not guilty by
reason of insanity.
This was the media story of the year. Even
the Bee Gees got into the the act, so to speak, with faux fundraiser
for the penectomy survivor's hospital expenses with a video parody of their
hit "To Love Somebody."
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You'll never know in this life. I hope
you'll never know in this life
To know what it's like to lose your penis, to lose your penis the was I lost
mine.
Don't ever piss off your wife.Don't ever piss off your wife
To lose your penis, to lose your penis, the way I lost mine. |
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Some people just can't handle being a celebrity, John Wayne Bobbitt/
is one of them. He unsuccessfully tried to cash in on his notoriety . by
forming a band, "The Severed Parts" which bombed. Then he appeared in two
porno vides, John Wayne Bobbitt: Uncut (1994) and Frankenpenis
(1996).
Frankenpenis was produced an directed by Ron Jeremy with a
story line about a man who was castrated by his undersexed wife who a has
previous detached penis is sewn onto him. Reportedly, John
needed special prostoglandin injections to perform well enough to meet the
rigid adult film standards. Neither film made much
money, so two years later in another attempt to make a few bucks, he
appeared on the World Wrestling Federation's Monday Night Raw
television program alongside the porn star character Val Venis who had
recently almost had his penis cut off. During his non-career as a
porno star, John Wayne Bobbitt he was arrested several times for a series of
minor offenses.
So here is a cocktail that we recommend serving on his birthday - one that
perfectly describes his former severed body part. Only watch
Frankenpenis at your own risk.
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The Bleeding Weasel Cocktail |
Ingredients
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1/4 oz Beer
1/4 oz Vodka
1/4 oz Tequila
1/4 oz Brandy
1/4 oz Triple Sec
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1/4 oz Coconut Rum
1/4 oz Gin
1/4 oz Rum
4 oz Lime Juice
1 oz Orange Juice
4 splash Grenadine
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Instructions |
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